Jerk

I have said it. I told her what was in my mind. then she cried and asked me why..........I thought everything would work out the way that we wanted, but no. same problems came up again. It is my fault. My fucking fault. If i had never taken the chance you gave me...everything would be so simple. The love we have in our relationship is no longer the "love-love" but the family-love. i guess. i mean. i still care for you..but its just different...i think it is better for both of us to end it earlier. i know that you have noticed the problems again. i cannot lie. i seriously hate myself right now. for being a jerk. i have never ever. done that to anyone before. i hate myself so much right nowhaiuahaiw. but i really think that is the best for us. if our love is not that type of love, then why even...try? you tried. i tried. but i just couldn't control myself. this is not what i want. i thought i can do it but i cant. fuck. it is just not working out. when i try to remember all the memories we have had...yes, i do miss all the good or bad times we had in the past. my .heart would feel like. its goin to come off or sumthing. But i just cant find that type of feelings in our relationship anymore. im so sorry. i know ima jerk. im not a good bf. i do not know how to do all these relationships thingy properly. im sorry.