Nov. 29th 2009

November 29th., 1 day...before 2 weeks after our 17 months 17 days. Our story ended on the night when the Leonid shower stroke. The night that we spent one and a half hour letting our true feelings out. Although we tried not letting our tear out yet we could not hold it as soon as we started the conversation. We also talked about how it used to be like when things were all so perfect. I miss how things were back then, and I wish everything could go back to normal. After an hour or so, she asked if I would like to drive around. Then, we saw the road that we used to take a walk at. "Want to take a walk?" I asked. It has been a long time since we have taken a walk together. It was cold outside, but the way she held my left arm made me feel warm inside. I said "I wish this road never ends.", and I really did wish that the walk we took would last forever."... Juliana, you probably won't read this but you are always on my mind. I have been thinking about you all the time. I miss all the stuff that we have done together and I am scared that time would erase me off your mind. I don't know what is the best thing that I could do, ju.
I feel like I do not belong in your world anymore. Like I don't even exist or matter anymore.

"...And my eyes are screaming for the sight of you
And tonight I'm dreaming
Of all the things that we've been through
And I can't hold on to you, so I guess I feel lonely too
But I'd rather be here with you..."

suppose-secondhand serenade

Juliana, I wish we could start over again. I love you & I miss you.